there's no reason to live life in darkness

the jakarta post, | Sun, 02/07/2010 4:31 PM

Growing up with a single parent is actually not that bad, because it gave me an opportunity to learn how to stand on my own feet earlier than most.

My parents got divorced when I was six years old. They fought a lot and it ended with a separation. As an only child and when my mom was at work, it was just me and the maid when I came home
from school.

But I did not think of this as a burden. Instead, I tried to learn how to do lots of things by myself. In high school I started to look for extra cash by myself by becoming an emcee and a fashion model. This turned out to be fun.

Also, to escape my loneliness I took part in several after-school activities, where I made lots of friends.

I was so glad to have
someone who I looked after, and at the same time I was also getting attention from someone else — attention that I did not get from my family.

I can say now that friends and activities are the best way to get away from such issues. And thanks to them, I was able to make better choices, and keep my guard up against things like drugs.

The comfort I found among my close circle of friends became the most important key to define what family is to me. Some of them are older than me, which makes it easier for me to share my feelings with them, and I also learn a lot from them. So, as the only child, they are my brothers.

The one thing I miss now is when some of my friends talk about their fathers, and how they got scolded, or how they argued. I can not join such discussions because I did not have such experiences.

But hey, this is my life, so I have to face it.

And now, my mother has remarried. It was awkward at first — having someone else besides me and my mom, but everything has worked out fine. And although I do not see him as a father and do not want him to interfere too much with my life, I have a lot of respect for him.

AG
http://www.thejakartapost.com/youthspeak/3/2/family-issues-no-reason-live-life-darkness.html

we all have to move on

I'm back.. It's difficult to go back..

Merasa tak berdaya memang, memulai dari 'nihil' lagi sesuatu yang sudah kita hitung sampai ratusan bahkan ribuan. Seperti coretan-coretan tidak penting sebelumnya, yang sudah ter-berkas rapih di dalam mesin putih canggih itu telah di rampas dan berpindah tempat entah kemana.. Ya, hanya Dia dan dia yang tahu kemana perginya.. Now, I've to start over again.. *sigh. Ini coretan pertamaku pasca penculikan sahabat, pacar, asisten, alat pamer, dan jembatan penghubung antara aku dan dunia virtual.. Harus kuakui, Aku memang sedikit menelantarkannya sejak datangnya si buah hitam jahanam ini.. Kenapa aku sebut dia jahanam? hari-hari ku dibuat gelisah tanpanya.. Jalanku menuju gelap semakin sulit, dan pundi-pundi mutiaraku juga tergrogoti karena harus terus memberinya pupuk agar dia tidak menjadi kecil.. Lima lembar ribuan per hari.. But this fruit is practice and flexible.. Maafkan aku.. Terkadang kita memang suka melupakan sesuatu yang kita punya karena hal lain yang sepertinya 'terlihat' lebih baik.. Mudah-mudahan kalian tidak seperti itu..

Here we go..

Menjelang dan sesudah pergantian tahun 2010 (dua tahun sebelum kiamat) mungkin bukan moment-moment yang baik dalam keseharianku.. Kehilangan dan kegagalan menjadi teman dekat yang sangat baik menemaniku.. Terpuruk, mungkin kata yang hampir mendekati keadaanku.. Tatapanku sering kosong, Rendah gairah, bercumbu dengan kelesuan dan ditambah lagi melodi-melodi band beraliran 'Scream-Labile-Teen-Rock' menjadi wajib dalam daftar #nowplaying, belum lagi merasa kesepian walaupun ditempat yang jauh dari kata sepi.. Dan yang paling mengharukan lagi.. Being a pathetic person on 'what's happening?' Oouch..!! Ya, hal tersebut yang sering ku lakukan belakangan ini bahkan disaat aku membuat coretan ini.. Can u imagine that? A boy.. Write a story while listen to the 'S-L-T-R' bands and keep updating a pathetic stuff.. I have no idea.. those things can make me better or get worse and worst? What do you think?

Well, I don't understand how this world would work but We got to back on the right track and WE ALL HAVE TO MOVE ON..

Chris Martin says 'no body said it was easy.. But when you never try you never know?'

So, am I really back? I hope soo.. Wish me luck..

AG